Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: Funny you should ask. Just the other day, I had a chance meeting with a great sage who happens to shop at my neighborhood Schnucks. We chatted a while, mainly about the produce. I told him some jokes, he laughed, and in return he offered to tell me the secret to the meaning of life. He said I was to pass it on, with the understanding that only the noble of mind and the pure of spirit can understand his words. He said: "Ekejdey odbdbnj jjjbsbnekjbs, Isgeib bddvjj bebaehksb bxrt!" Quite a surprise, don't you think?

Q: You're 75 years old and have never been married. Is something wrong with you?
A: No.

Q: Does your preference for science fiction blockbusters and light comedies saying anything about your maturity?
A: Shut your face, loser.

Q: Ginger or Marjoram?
A: It depends. Ginger is good for cookies, cakes, bread and many Asian dishes. Marjoram is good in soups, stews and marinades.

Q: Paper or plastic?
A: Plastic is better for grocery bags, plumbing fixtures and condoms. Go with paper for newsprint and toilet tissue.

Q: What came first - the chicken or the egg?
A: Neither.

Q: What is the best rock and roll band of all time?
A: The Beatles.

Q: Of equal size, who would win a fight - a bear or a gorilla?
A: I think gorilla because of its mobility and intelligence, but many of my friends give the nod to the bear for overall strength and their claws.

Q: Aren't some monkeys cute and adorable.
A: No.

Q: Are these questions really frequently asked?
A: No.

Q: Who are right - conservatives or liberals?
A: Neither.

Q: What did the spider say to the fly?
A: Nothing. Arthropods can't talk.